 |
His most distinguished journey was to Ireland,...
Posted on 2010-Mar-2 at 12:40
His most distinguished journey was to Ireland, whither he set
forth to find a market for his stolen treasure But he determined that the
road should bear its own charges, and he reached Dublin a richer man than
he left London In three months he was penniless, but he did not begin
trade again until he had recrossed the Channel, and, having got to work
near Chester, he returned to the Piazza fat with bank-notes
With success his extravagance increased, and, living the life of a man
about town, he was soon harassed by debt More than once he was
lodged in the Marshalsea, and as his violent temper resented the
interference of a dun, he became notorious for his assaults upon sheriff's
officers And thus his poor skill grew poorer: forgetting his trade, he
expected that brandy would ease his embarrassment At last, sodden with
drink, he enlisted in the Guards, from which regiment he deserted, only to
be pressed aboard a man-of-war Freed by a clever trick, he took to the
road again, until a paltry theft from a barber transported him to Maryland
There he turned sailor, and his ship, The Two Sisters, being taken by a
A BOOK OF SCOUNDRELS
privateer, he contrived to scramble into Portugal, whence he made his way
back to England, and to the only adventure of which he was master He
landed with no more money than the price of a pistol, but he prigged omega men watches a
prancer at Bristol horsefair, and set out upon his last journey The tide of
his fortune was at flood He crammed his pockets with watches; he was
owner of enough diamonds to set up shop in a fashionable quarter; of
guineas he had as many as would support his magnificence for half a year;
and at last he resolved to quit the road, and to live like the gentleman he
was To this prudence he was the more easily persuaded, because not
only were the thief-takers eager for his capture, but he was a double-dyed
deserter, whose sole chance of quietude was a decent obscurity
His resolution was taken at StAlbans, and over a comfortable dinner
he pictured a serene and uneventful future On the morrow he would set
forth to Dublin, sell his handsome stock of jewels, and forget that the cart
ever lumbered up Tyburn Hill So elated was he with his growing virtue,
that he called for a second bottle, and as the port heated his blood his
fingers tingled for action A third bottle proved beyond dispute that only
the craven were idle; `and why,' he exclaimed, generous with wine,
`should the most industrious ruffler of England condescend to inaction?'
Instantly he summoned the ostler, screaming for his horse, and before
Redburn he had emptied four pockets, and had exchanged his own tired
jade for a fresh and willing beast Still exultant in his contempt of
cowardice, he faced the Warrington stage, and made off with his plunder at
a drunken gallop rolex ladies Arrived at Dunstable, he was so befogged with liquor
and pride, that he entered the `Bull Inn,' the goal of the very coach he had
just encountered He had scarce called for a quartern of brandy when the
robbed passengers thronged into the kitchen; and the fright gave him
enough sobriety to leave his glass untasted, and stagger to his horse In a
wild fury of arrogance and terror, of conflicting vice and virtue, he pressed
on to Hockcliffe, where he took refuge from the rain, and presently,
fuddled with more brandy, he fell asleep over the kitchen fire
By this time the hue and cry was raised; and as the hero lay helpless in
the corner three troopers burst into the inn, levelled their pistols at his head,
and threatened death if he put his hand to his pocket Half asleep, and
A BOOK OF SCOUNDRELS
wholly drunk, he made not he smallest show of resistance; he surrendered
all his money, watches, and diamonds, save a little that was sewn into his
neckcloth, and sulkily crawled up to his bed-chamber Thither the
troopers followed him, and having restored some nine pounds at his urgent
demand, they watched his heavy slumbers For all his brandy Simms
slept but uneasily, and awoke in the night sick with the remorse which is
bred of ruined plans and a splitting head He got up wearily, and sat over
the fire `a good deal chagrined,' to quote his own purple fendi bags simple phrase, at his
miserable capture Escape seemed hopeless indeed; there crouched the
vigilant troopers, scowling on their prey A thousand plans chased each
other through the hero's fuddled brain, and at last he resolved to tempt the
cupidity of his guardians, and to make himself master of their fire-arms
There were still left him a couple of seals, one gold, the other silver, and
watching his opportunity, Simms flung them with a flourish in the fire It
fell out as he expected; the hungry troopers made a dash to save the
trinkets; the prisoner seized a brace of pistols and leapt to the door But,
alas, the pistols missed fire, Harry was immediately overpowered, and on
the morrow was carried, sick and sorry, before the Justice From
Dunstable he travelled his last journey to Newgate, and, being condemned
at the Old Bailey, he was hanged till he was dead, and his body thereafter
was carried for dissection to a surgeon's in that same Covent Garden
where he first deserted his hackney cab for the pleasures of the town
`Gentleman Harry' was neither a brilliant thief nor a courteous
highwayman There was no touch of the grand manner even in his
prettiest achievement His predecessors had made a pistol and a vizard
an overwhelming terror, and he did but profit by their tradition when he
bade the cowed traveller stand and deliver His profession, as he
practised it, neither demanded skill nor incurred danger Though he
threatened death tiffany bracelet at every encounter, you never hear that he pulled a trigger
throughout his career If his opponent jeered and rode off, he rode off
with a whole skin and a full pocket Once even this renowned adventurer
accepted the cut of a riding-whip across his face, nor made any attempt to
avenge the insult But his manifold shortcomings were no hindrance to
his success Wherever he went, between London and York, he stopped
A BOOK OF SCOUNDRELS
coaches and levied his tax A threatening voice, an arched eyebrow, an
arrogant method of fingering an unloaded pistol, conspired with the craven,
indolent habit of the time to make his every journey a procession of
triumph He was capable of performing all such feats as the age required
of him But you miss the spirit, the bravery, the urbanity, and the wit,
which made the adventurer of the seventeenth century a figure of romance
One point only of the great tradition did Harry Simms remember He
was never unwilling to restore a trinket made precious by sentiment
Once when he took a gold ring from a gentleman's finger a gentlewoman
burst into tears, exclaiming, `There goes your father's ring' Whereupon
Simms threw all his booty into a hat, saying, `For God's sake, take that or
anything else you please' In all other respects he was a bully, with the
hesitancy of a coward, rather than the proper rival of Hind or shop for chanel bags Duv
« Last Page :: Next Page »
|
|